The Milk Bet
by AmberTonks
Summary: Mustang lost a bet with Hughes and Ed ended up being dragged into it. No real pairing.


**A/N I just thought of this an typed it... At like 3AM**

The two best friends were playing cards during lunch.

"Well, Hughes, do you want to make this a bit more interesting?" Roy said to his friend.

"How so?" Maes asked.

"Let's put something on this hand." Mustang said.

"Sure, name your price!" Hughes said smirking.

"If I win, you have to go a week without talking about Elysia or your family." Mustang told Maes his wager.

Hughes eyes widened, "and If I win, you have to get Ed to drink a glass of milk!"

"Deal," Mustang said confidently then dealt the hand.

**Mustang's POV **

I looked at the cards that I had dealt myself. I want... no, need to win this. My hand wasn't bad, three sevens jack high, that could beat Hughes, he always goes for a flush and almost never succeeds at it.

"One," I said putting one card in the discard pile and drawing one.

_Hell yeah! _I thought to myself as i drew the fourth seven, but I kept my practiced poker face, there was no way Maes could beat four of a kind.

**Hughes's POV**

"I'll take 3." I said, I was going for a flush of diamonds. I put the cards in the discard pile then drew three... diamond, diamond, diamond. And better yet, a royal flush! Roy couldn't top that.

"Ready to show?" I asked.

"Yes," Mustang said cockily as he laid down his cards, "Four of a kind, jack high."

"Pretty good, but..." I laid down my cards, "royal flush, I win."

"You cheated!" Roy immediately accused.

"Nope, honest game. Better go grab some milk and find our favourite young alchemist."

-Later that day-

Mustang started walking back towards his office with a cold glass of milk in his hand, _I'm Fullmetal's superior, if I tell him to drink milk he has to. _

He chuckled at that thought, there was no way the kid alchemist would drink milk on an order.

The colonel stepped into his large office to find a new pile of paperwork on his desk.

The raven-haired man sighed then shouted, "Lieutenant!"

A few seconds later a blond haired woman in the blue military uniform appeared in the doorway, "Yes sir."

"What is the meaning of this paperwork?" Mustang asked his lieutenant.

"You should know by now that paperwork is a big part of your job. Stop being such a baby and work for once." The lower ranked officer told her boss snidley

Mustang made a funny looking pout and then looked back down towards his paperwork, "Send Fullmetal in when he gets here."

"Of course." Hawkeye nodded curtly and then turned and walked out the door.

A few minutes of boring paperwork later Fullmetal walked into the room without knocking.

"Hello, Fullmetal." the colonel started, looking up, "Nice to see your manners haven't outgrown your height."

The blonde immediately got an eye twitch, spazzing out into a tantrum, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE COULD BATHE IN A SINK?"

"I said nothing of the sort, Fullmetal." I told him, "If you want to grow taller you can just drink milk."

Edward Elric stuck out his tongue and made a disgusted face, "Not even if I grew taller than Al." He said stubbornly, "And why are you nagging me on my hatred of that disgusting cow juice, isn't that Al and Winry's job?"

"I was asked to pass on a message, so I did, now drink some milk." Mustang instructed.

"No." He said, "Here's my report." He put a lazily stapled group of papers on the colonel's desk. "Am I dismissed?" He asked sarcastically, honestly not caring if he was dismissed or not before walking towards the door.

"No, you are not dismissed, until you drink a carton of milk."

"Then I guess we'll be spending some time together because there is no way in hell that I'm drinking milk." Ed said as he sat on the couch.

Riza was waiting outside the room, expecting something of the sort to happen, ready to intervene if necessary. She'd overheard the exacts of the bet between two of her superior officers and knew that Edward was caught in the middle. If the colonel didn't give up on his approach within the next five minutes she would walk in and try to improve the situation.

-5 minutes of Ed being stuck in Roy's office-

Hawkeye sighed, she had honestly expected Ed to have walked out or Roy to have kicked him out after being annoyed by his immaturity and impatience. She stepped into the office.

"Hawkeye, would you please explain to Fullmetal how important it is for him to drink milk?" Mustang commanded his lieutenant.

"Sir... I" Riza trailed off until the colonel interrupted.

"That was an order, Lieutenant."

Hawkeye sighed, "Edward, it's very important to drink your milk if you want to grow up tall and strong." She said half-heartedly.

"I don't care if I grew as tall as this building, I'm not drinking any cow juice!" The eldest Elric brother yelled.

"Just drink the damn milk and then you can go home and back to wasting military funds on false leads." Mustang glared at Ed, clearly determined to get the young alchemist to drink the milk.

-11PM that night after Hawkeye left-

"It's been a real good time waiting to be dismissed, but I'm leaving." Edward said getting off to leave the office.

"Not until you drink the milk." Mustang said from behind his desk.

Edward was angered by the fact the door was locked, "When did you lock the door?"

"After I got back from dinner a few hours ago." Mustang answered calmly.

"Right, dinner... the meal you wouldn't let me eat." Ed said tiredly.

"And you won't get it until you drink your milk." Mustang told him stubbornly.

Edward groaned, his growling stomach almost audible, "Will you let me go back to the barracks?"

"Are you going to drink your milk?"

"So no... Can I at least call Al and tell him I won't be home?"

"I'll call him." Mustang said, picking up the desk phone and calling the number for Ed and Al's room in the barrack.

"Hello?" The hollow metallic voice of Alphonse answered after three rings.

"Hello, Alphonse. This is Colonel Mustang. I'm calling to tell you that Fullmetal will be working overnight, have a nice ni-" Mustang tried to quickly get through the phone call so Edward couldn't try anything.

"AL! SAVE ME! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY COLONEL ASSHOLE UNTIL I DRINK MILK! HE DIDN'T LET ME HAVE DINNER!" Edward yelled from his spot in the couch, hoping that his younger brother would come to save him.

"Just make sure he gets something to eat for breakfast, a starving Edward is not a happy Edward. Goodnight Colonel." Alphonse answered.

That was certainly convenient for Mustang, that Alphonse supported of the so called kidnapping until he drank the milk.

"He said to give you breakfast, and he didn't sound like he was going to come get you." Roy told Edward.

"That traitor..." Ed hissed, "Well I'm going to sleep, don't you dare try to pour that vial liquid into my mouth while I sleep!"

-The next morning-

The sun shined through the windows into the office. Mustang had been unable to even get close to getting Ed to drink the milk while he slept; Edward had slept while face down. However; Roy had a plan. He had gotten a pastry and filled it with a cup of milk.

"Rise and shine, Fullmetal. Time for breakfast." Mustang yelled as he re-entered the office holding a plate with the pastry on it and a styrofoam cup.

Edward groggily pushed himself into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes until the word 'breakfast' registered in his mind as 'food'.

"Give. Me. The. Food. NOW." Ed said without the slightest bit of respect for his superior.

Mustang handed the young boy the pastry and cup. His fellow alchemist took it, carefully examining the contents of the cup, just as planned. After Edward had seen it was not filled with milk he took a sip and then took a huge mouthful of the pastry, only to have his tastebuds assaulted by the only thing that he wouldn't eat.

Mustang quickly sprung into action, covering Ed's nose and mouth so he would have no choice but to swallow. "Now chew and swallow."

Ed fought with all of his might to not swallow, he had even started to turn a purple colour from not breathing, but he broke and had to swallow the pastry trap.

Mustang released the boy to gulp down both air and the water in the cup, trying to wash the disgusting flavour out of his mouth.

"You bastard!" He yelled, gagging at the long-lasting taste.

"Well, you drank the milk, so now you can leave. Wasn't so bad was it?" Mustang said before looking to see Edward vomiting into the wastebin that sat beside his desk.

"Yes, it was that bad." Edward snarled before collecting himself and walking out of the room, still slightly green.

**A/N The Ed torture was for you Sowrongit'srachel, hope you all enjoyed. **


End file.
